happy, sad, mad but still hopeful

Happy

Today is the last day of my fasting. God is good! It’s been a wonderful experience for me. I have realized a lot of things during this 21 days of my fast and most of all I found out that I can actually discipline myself when it comes to eating hahaha :) Although I will admit that there are times, I’m really tempted to break my fast. I remember last Sunday I was sooo sleepy I really wanted to buy a coffee from Starbucks. Good thing, Batman was there to remind me and rebuke me. Well, I never thought I can survive the 21 days of my life taking vegetables and fruits only. But God is faithful… He’s been my strength and He has sustained me. Now I feel healthier than before. I haven’t had any news regarding my job hunting in Bangkok but I will trust the Lord that He will provide for me. If He cares for the birds in the skies He cares more for His children whom He dearly loves. I am His child… He is my Father and He loves me.

Sad

My auntie just gave me the news that our dog – Nusa is very sick. Last night he threw up a lot and he doesn’t want to eat and play or even walk. Very very very very sad news. We love that dog so much. He added so much joy in our life since he was given to us. I really hope he’ll get better soon….

Please be well Nusa...

Mad

Why there are people who don’t fulfill whatever it is they said? Why there are people who like to take advantage of other people just because they knew they have control over them?

Man… working here sucks. I am just so mad I wanted to take it out of me… I really hope blogging it would help. SIGH!

Still Hopeful….

Tomorrow will still be beautiful. Tomorrow will still be wonderful. Tomorrow I will be amazed at how God will work in my life. Tomorrow I will be hopeful because even if people fail me, my God is faithful and He will fulfill His promises. Life sucks today but tomorrow will be a different story.

God is good!

I’ve been doing a lot of blog hopping these past few days and I’m enjoying it a lot. I really admire those people who can inspire other people through their works. Some are just sharing stories of their life but still… somebody’s experience can be somebody’s entertainment and inspiration. Thank you for these bloggydee blogs which made me happy. I left comments to those whom I was really blessed and blogs which I’ll be checking out from time to time :)

As for me, well, last week was a very hard week for me. Firstly, our salary was delayed L It was supposed to be given every 5th of the month, but since the 5th is Sunday, we’re supposed to get it on the 3rd which is Friday. But because of some financial crisis our company is experiencing right now, it was delayed on 8th of this month. But it doesn’t end there, on the 8th of October, the expected money did not reach us yet, which means, it will be delayed again. That was last Wednesday and man, that was the scariest Wednesday of my life since I moved here in Rayong. Why? Because the workers got so mad at the management when they found out they can’t have their salary on that day. So at about 3pm, all of them stopped working, they gather themselves together and they kept on clanging the metals and machines in the factory. The sound of those clanging metals really scares me. Feels like I can’t go out of the office alive. And the fact that I’m in the Finance Department makes it worse. Some of them looked at me as if I’m the one keeping the money from them. They didn’t understand I don’t have my salary too. So the managers went out to talk to them. Thank God everything went okay. The management promised to pay them on the 10th and they were gracious to agree. On the 10th, which was last Friday, they got their salary but not us :( Well, I think its better they got it first. I don’t wanna deal with scary workers again :(

Secondly, I got to talk to my brother last week and he told me that our mom is very sick. The moment I knew that, I called her and asked her to go to the doctor. My brother is suggesting it to her but she is refusing because she’s thinking of the cost of the check-up, the medicines, etc. So she and my brother went to the doctor’s clinic and found out she has pneumonia and high blood pressure. Another dilemma for me is that, she’s sick, they need money and I don’t have salary yet. Good thing I got to send them some money before the start of this week so they have a little money to use for my mom’s medicine and other expenses. But still, it won’t be enough to last for next week especially the medicine is so expensive. I talked to my mom and told her not to worry but deep in my heart, I’m the one who’s very worried for them. I told my brother to look after my mom.

The next day, I called them again and surprisingly, I found out this time that my brother is sick too :( I was really worried and crying out to God, asking Him to look after them. During these times that I wish I have the supernatural power to fly or teleport myself in a blink of an eye and be there the moment they need me.

Well, God is good… last Saturday when I got home in Bangkok, God sent three angels to help me in my finances which means, my mom and brother can buy enough medicine. Thank God for those angels :) The other day I got to talk to my brother again and he’s feeling okay now and my mom is getting better, still a little sick but getting better. Really really really thank God!

Aside from that I have Batman to stay with me through all of this. He’s was there to understand my toyo-ness, he’s there willing to fly and save me from the angry factory workers and he’s there just to love me :D

I still haven’t got my salary till now (15th of October 2008) but I’m not worried anymore. My Father God can work in ways I can’t even grasp. He cares for me and He will be there to look after my mom and my brother too. And, He gave me Batman to stood by my side and hold my hand. Indeed, God is good… all the time!

my life is in YOUR hands.. my heart is in YOUR keeping...

Daniel's Fast

Man, one post per month… that sucks! And I call myself a blogger? I’m really starting to feel depressed on my blogging habits (hehe :P) Well… life’s been very busy and honestly, just too lazy to write haha :D

So now… for my 1st of October post… I want to share my very first FASTING adventure. I have been a Christian since 1994 (grew up in church since I was a kid but really understood it on that year) but I haven’t tried doing this thing. For no reason actually, it’s just that, I thought this thing is not for me. So then, just last month, I was re-reading the book “Heavenly Man”. The book is about the Chinese Man named Yun who suffered rejections, hardships and persecutions in China because of his faith. It really inspired me and I was really moved by the story and the events that this guy had experienced together with his family and co-believer in Christ. From that, I thought how blessed I was that all I have received in my life are just petty rejections and laughs from friends and neighbors when I am sharing Jesus to them. I never experienced to be beaten, to be imprisoned, to almost die because I believe in God and claim Jesus to be my Savior and Lord. A part of the book which really touched me was when he was in prison, consistently beaten and treated badly by the prison guards and his other cell mates, and then he’s still doing his FASTING. He’s not eating his food but instead, he gave to his other cell mates which made them realize that he really is a good man.

From that moment on, FASTING has been in my mind. I remembered about two years ago, when my cousin Kirby went here in Thailand to join the Jesus Revolution Mission Outreach. She shared to me that they did a Daniel Fasting so they will be prepared spiritually for the battle they’ll face here in Thailand. What she had told me was that in doing the Daniel Fasting, they should not eat any meat and sweets. From that, I decided to study that kind of Fast and here’s what I found out:

DANIEL FASTING was based on that time when Daniel decided not to eat the King’s food (Babylonian diet) but instead decided to eat vegetables and drink water only for ten days. As I study deeper on this subject, I have set my objectives for my fast, the length of time that I will be fasting and from what food I will be fasting.

WHY AM I FASTING?
1. I NEED A JOB (Located in Bangkok, stabled company, with working permit and visa, good paying job, where I can use my giftings, talent and education)
2. FINANCIAL BREAKTHROUGH (Freedom from debts, faithfulness in tithing and learning to save)
3. PHYSICAL HEALING (myself, my brother and my mom)
4. SPIRITUAL STRENGTH (being more prayerful, hungry for God’s Word and strength to face trials and temptations)

HOW LONG AM I FASTING?
I’ve decided to do the 21-day fast according to Daniel 10:2-3 so I will be fasting from 01 October 2008 to 21 October 2008.

FROM WHAT AM I FASTING?
1. Meat (Chicken, Pork, Beef)
2. Sweets (Ice Creams, Chocolates, Candies, Cakes)
3. White rice, white bread, pasta and noodles
4. Dairy Foods
5. Carbonated Drinks (sodas)
6. Caffeine
7. Fried Foods
8. Fish (if cooked with oil)

I know this is quite difficult, especially for someone like me who really loves to eat… and I mean, reaaallllyyy loves to eat. Actually they always told me I am a food person because they can really see me happy when I’m eating. But then, I guess, this is a big spiritual step I’m about to do. I believe that my faith in God will help me get through these 21 days of my life and not only that… I know that as I come to Him and seek Him, He will reveal Himself to me and answer my prayers according to His will.

Father God,

You will be my strength in my weakness.

Your grace is sufficient and your love is everlasting.

You are my Father… and you will provide for me.

You care about me and You love me… I will rest on those truths.

My heart will be in peace knowing You will always be with me.

I love you and thank You for loving me first :)

Your daughter,
Eloisa

again?!!!

Hmm…

Its been a while since I last blogged… againL well sometimes, when you get used of not doing something, its really hard to get back on it. Just like blogging. Hehe JBut anyways, just an update from me on what happened for that two quiet months of my life. JUNE was a pretty boring month just doing the same stuffs over and over again. Work for weekdays then church and family and love one at weekends.

JULY was jampacked. Good and bad… happy and sad… laughter and tears… The most important thing is, lessons were learned and been very thankful to God for bringing wonderful people in my life – family and friends - to love, to care, to understand, to listen, to correct and to be joyful with me. And to that someone who has been with me through all of this, you’re my precious gift from God. Couldn’t have done it without you holding my hand and telling me it’s gonna be okay.

Start of August was blast! 01st to 3rd of August was spent in the Youth Camp at Suan Nong Nooch Resort at Prachiburri.

VENUE - The place was heavenly…. very, very nice. The camp site is so big it won’t be advisable to walk if you want to tour in the place. There were lots of facilities and amenities to enjoy. There’s the flying fox, a small lake where you can do paddle boats and canoe, a rope bridge, a big soccer field behind the big rocks, a cactus garden, a small pool, a mini-zoo where you can see deer and big ostriches, a cage where you can see chickens and rabbits together, grass maze, a rusty tunnel, a hanging rope bridge, a climbing thingy, a mess hall, a Thai house, nice rooms, bikes, and wonderful people to serve you.

PEOPLE – Ps. Chad, Ate Renz, Navie, Auntie Su, Jove, Ivy, Pong, Angel, Vianne, Eddie, Oti, Gift, Praise, Joy, Jadze, Joshua, Hye Min, Sae Hee, Min Ha, Winnie, Gabi, Jerrica, Hannah, Reuben, Chao, Taihei, Bruyole, Jonathan, Acts, Joanna and ME! Three Groups – Justice League of P, X-Men and Incredibles. Super Counselors – Jove, Ivy and Me. Super Mommy – Ate Renz. Super Auntie – Pi Su. Everybody’s Clown – Navviiieee. Super Duper Pastor – PMC. Funny, amazing and wonderful people. One word – BLESSINGS. Knowing them, being with them, taking a part of their life and mine and putting it together, knowing God together, worshipping together and making memories with these people is just simply awesome. Thank you God for this kind of blessing you’ve given me.

WORD – Simple but true. Basic but important. Sitting there, looking at them, and remembering the times when I was the one in their place. The preaching was very powerful… reminding me of the simple but important things… rekindling the joy of my salvation… going back to my first love… becoming a true worshipper of God… going extreme for Jesus…. Being a radical Christian…. Being a Jesus freak….

elevate...wohhoooo....

Dear Lord,

At times, it felt like since I’ve known you for a long time, I already knew all of you. But I was very wrong. Thank you for bringing me back to your heart and for reminding me of your love which is the most important thing of all…

For the past weeks, I’ve seen how you’ve answered my prayers and how you’ve answered it in a way that I don’t exactly like but just perfect… for me to learn… for me to appreciate the people whom you’ve blessed me with and for me to realize that YOU are sovereign and in control.

I love you Lord …

Thank you for the opportunity to grow in life… but even if; I’ll still be Your little girl.

eloizagerl - blessed beyond what i can imagine :P

In His Love

have been comforted with this old song from Sandi Patti...

truly it is...

in His love, that's the best place to be...

Last night, I started reading the book "In the presence of my enemies" by Gracia Burnham.That book has been with me for a long time but it was just only last night that I really started reading it. The book is about the story of the American Missionaries Gracia and Martin Burnhams who was kidnapped by the Abu Sayaff. During the actual time, (between 2001 and 2002) they have been all over the news around the globe. I can even remember a time that our church prayed for their safety.

While I was reading it, I look back in my life and remember the times I felt the same way as they did. Nervous... sad... alone... deserted... depressed... well, I haven't been kidnapped nd hopefully will not experience that. They are totally different situations, but the point is, the feelings are the same. And all of us go through that... whether its a relationship that just ended, or a frustration on something we can't have, or a death of someone we love, or just simply being lost in an unfamiliar place. There's always that time in our life that we feel like we were kidnapped... trapped... helpless... I remembered those times and honestly, it still looks real... it still gives back those feelings.

In the midst of that, I remembered this song... In His love, there's a place where you can always hide away... During those times that we know we're in that condition, that's when we should know that we can hide under God's love. I know this book is not about to encourage people to get angry at God because He lets things like this happen in our lives. It's about how God's love can shine through the darkness we are in... how His love can be amazingly perfect to make us feel okay... and how God's love can be there to embrace us and heal our hurts.

Sometimes, we are so caught up in our lives and all the things we want to have and things we want to achieve, we tend to forget the simple things that really matters. Last night... I just got reminded on one of it. God's love is my hiding place... I am safe there...